Renouncing Fear

My theme for 2021 is Renouncing Fear.

I’ll be honest—it scared me to death to pick that theme, and it scares me even more almost one quarter into the year.

It’s ironic, I know. Being afraid to renounce fear. But I think there’s a deep truth hidden beneath that somewhat ludicrous-sounding statement.

The hardest thing about renouncing fear is the fear itself.

These last few days have been evidence enough. Of all the things I’ve been afraid of (and there have been a lot of them) it’s been the FEAR of those things which scares me most.

I’m afraid of being afraid. I’m afraid that being afraid will make me more afraid. And I’m afraid that being afraid of being afraid will make me the most afraid of all!

(If you had to read that sentence twice to understand what I meant, you probably aren’t alone!)

And that’s when you really know it’s time to renounce fear.

Back in December when I was choosing a new theme for the year, fear seemed like a really good option. Throughout 2020 I had chosen to Embrace Imperfection, and I felt like I reached that aim in so many areas. Oh, it meant struggle. It really did. It meant realizing just how imperfect I was, and battling through a whole lot of brokenness, pain and hard things.

But I felt like it was worth it. I learned to be okay with not being okay. It’s still a journey, but something valuable was achieved.

And then I realized something—fear was the one big obstacle standing between me and all that I longed to be.

I thought that if I turned my back on fear and renounced it once for all, I would find the freedom and joy and fulfillment that I’d spent my whole life chasing after, and that finally seemed to be dawning on my horizon.

But I was still scared.

I knew that renouncing fear would mean facing fear, and that scared me. But of course, you don’t begin renouncing fear by being afraid of renouncing it, so I took the plunge anyway, and made a simple resolve that has been really difficult to carry out sometimes:

Not to make any decision based on fear.

That doesn’t mean I’m not going to make any decision when I FEEL fear—but fear is not going to be the determining factor. I’m going to have to find another better reason to make any decision that fear is prompting me to make.

I haven’t always succeeded, but that’s my aim. And it felt empowering to make that aim. At least for a while.

The problem is that 2021 has faced me with fear after fear after fear—each one seemingly more crippling and devastating than the last. I’ve told my family several times that I feel like I’m afraid of everything now. Even things I never used to fear.

Because fear will do that to you. The more hold you let it have in your life, the more it will demand. The more you give into it, the stronger it will grasp. There is absolutely no way to get free from that.

Oh—except there is one way.

Renounce it through faith in God and it will vanish.

“Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” – James 4:7

I read a book this winter that has totally changed my perspective on spiritual warfare. Click through to the Sheep Among Wolves blog if you want to read my review! It just happens to be written by a lovely friend of mine, and today is also release day!! So if you want to hop over to Amazon to check out the ebook and paperback versions, click on the links!

It was about the power of the spoken word in the spiritual realm. There were moments when I found it overwhelmingly vivid—mostly because of the struggles in my own life right now—but the incredibly simple yet beautiful lessons stuck with me in a profound way.

“Indeed, that is the very tactic of the enemy of our souls. He walks about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour, and yes, he wants to devour you. But we know him. We know who he is in reality. He’s a defeated foe. And when we call him out as a defeated foe by the blood of Yeshua, all power over us vanishes instantly.”

Victory’s Voice by Erika Mathews

A few days ago I experienced a really intense struggle with fear. It seemed so strong and I was so weak. I tried praying, I tried reading God’s Word, I tried everything I could think of, and nothing worked. But the more I thought about it the more I realized the struggle was not with the thing I feared, but the fear itself.

And I thought I’d try it. Renounce fear, resist the devil, triumph in faith.

And it worked!

It really did.

When I truly renounced the fear and refused to give it audience, it vanished. Oh, I know it will come knocking at my door again. It has already. But I don’t have to open the door to everyone who knocks.

The door is mine, and I get to choose what I will allow to enter. I can give into fear and let the devil get an advantage on me, or I can refuse. I can stand up to him and claim the victory that Jesus has already won for me!

I don’t know where the journey will lead me. I don’t know what fears I’ll have to battle and what obstacles I’ll need to overcome. But I know this:

The devil only has power if I give him power.

Fear only has power if I give it power.

And thanks to learning those two beautiful truths through reading my friend’s book, I’m strong enough to stand against it. Through Jesus, I have everything I need to overcome!!